I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
