Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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