my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
