Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
