The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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