I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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