Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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