My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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