hell yes lets make some ravioli
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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