I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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