no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
