literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
