Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
