I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
