If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
