"it" just moved
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
