We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
