I need help removing her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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