Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
