I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
