I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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