Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
