Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and she was petting her beer can
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
