GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
