she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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