Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
