Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
