My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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