hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
