my sisters under your porch take her home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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