good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
