Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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