Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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