I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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