So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
