so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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