I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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