I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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