Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my liver is dry heaving
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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