One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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