i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
