I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
