woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize