God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
