You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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