Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
