i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
