I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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