Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
