So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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