what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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