i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
