My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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