I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Farmville is her only friend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
