this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
