I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
