I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
