I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
