you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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