Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
