It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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