Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
