omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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