What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
