I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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