We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
