My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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