Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
