Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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